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STANDARDIZED BONEHEAD REPLY FORM, Version 1.3c
(c) copyright 1999 by
someone else.
(check all boxes that apply)
Dear:
[ ] Clueless Newbie [ ] Lamer [ ] Flamer
[ ] Loser [ ] Spammer [ ] Troller
[ ] "Me too" er [ ] Pervert [ ] Geek
[ ] Freak [ ] Nerd [ ] Elvis
[ ] Racist [ ] Fed [ ] WaReZ D00D
[ ] Fundamentalist [ ] Satanist [ ] Militia member
[ ] Stereotypical AOLer [ ] "Expert"
[ ] Unbearably self-righteous person [ ] Hypocrite
[ ] IBM/Mac Bigot [ ] Apologist [ ] Revisionist
[ ] Scientologist [ ] Evolutionary Dead End
I took exception to your recent:
[ ] Email [ ] Post to (to long, out of space)
[ ] "News" article
It was (check all that apply):
[ ] Lame [ ] Stupid [ ] Abusive
[ ] Clueless [ ] Idiotic [ ] Brain-damaged
[ ] Imbecilic [ ] Arrogant [ ] Malevolent
[ ] Contemptible [ ] Libelous [ ] Ignorant
[ ] Nauseating [ ] Stupid [ ] Fundamentalist
[ ] Boring [ ] Dim [ ] Cowardly
[ ] Deceitful [ ] Demented [ ] Self-righteous
[ ] Crazy [ ] Weird [ ] Hypocritical
[ ] Loathsome [ ] Satanic [ ] Despicable
[ ] Belligerent [ ] Mind-numbing [ ] Maladroit
[ ] Assinine [ ] Pointless [ ] Annoying
[ ] Much longer than any worthwhile thought of which you may be capable.
Your attention is drawn to the fact that:
[ ] You Spammed
[ ] You defended someone who Spammed.
[ ] You doubtlessly violated the Terms of Service of your ISP
[ ] You posted what should have been emailed
[ ] You obviously don't know how to read your newsgroups line
[ ] You obviously know nothing about the topic at hand
[ ] You are trying to make money on a non-commercial newsgroup
[ ] You are placing your profits above fundamental ethics
[ ] You self-righteously impose your religious beliefs on others
[ ] You self-righteously impose your racial beliefs on others
[ ] You made a blanket statement without backing it up
[ ] You made unwarranted assumptions
[ ] You posted a "news article" without bothering to do basic research
[ ] You posted a binary in a non-binaries group
[ ] You don't know which group to post in
[ ] You made a post and didn't say anything
[ ] You posted something totally uninteresting
[ ] You crossposted to *way* too many newsgroups
[ ] I don't like your tone of voice
[ ] You are the reason some groups are moderated
[ ] You posted in HTML
[ ] You used the phrase "Information Superhighway"
[ ] You cannot recognize sarcasm
[ ] You made an error and blamed someone else
[ ] You flamed someone for a spelling error.
[ ] And you misspelled something in the process
[ ] What you posted has been done before.
[ ] Not only that, it was also done better the last time.
[ ] You quoted an *entire* post in your reply
[ ] You quoted nothing, so nobody knows what you refer to
[ ] You started a long, stupid thread
[ ] You continued spreading a long stupid thread
[ ] Your post is absurdly off topic for where you posted it
[ ] You posted a followup to crossposted robot-generated spam
[ ] You posted a URL that had nothing to do with the subject header
[ ] You posted a "test" in a discussion group rather than in alt.test
[ ] You posted a "YOU ALL SUCK" message
[ ] You posted low-IQ flamebait
[ ] You posted a blatantly obvious troll
[ ] You followed up to a blatantly obvious troll
[ ] You said "me too" to something
[ ] You posted a "FAQ" that contains deliberately misleading information
[ ] You make no sense
[ ] Your sig/alias is dreadful
[ ] It contains stupid song lyrics
[ ] It contains a stupid "witty" quote
[ ] It contains worthless ASCII graphics
[ ] Your sig is longer than the body of your message
[ ] You posted a phone-sex ad
[ ] You posted a stupid pyramid money making scheme
[ ] You claimed a pyramid-scheme/chain letter for money was legal
[ ] You argued that spamming was legal, even though nobody claimed it wasn't
[ ] Your margin settings (or lack of) make your post unreadable.
Each line just goes on and on, not stopping at 75 characters, making it
hard to read.
[ ] You posted in ELitE CaPitALs to look k0OwL
[ ] You failed
[ ] Miserably
[ ] You posted a message in ALL CAPS, and you don't even own a TRS-80
[ ] Your post was FULL of RANDOM CAPS for NO APPARENT REASON
[ ] You ended a sentence with more than one ! or ?
[ ] and also put a blank before them
[ ] You referred to the Usenet Cabal (There is no Cabal)
[ ] You attempted a deliberate invocation of Goodwin's Law
[ ] You have greatly misunderstood the purpose of this newsgroup.
[ ] You have greatly misunderstood the purpose of the Internet.
[ ] You have greatly misunderstood the purpose of email
[ ] You have greatly misunderstood the purpose of communication
[ ] You are a loser.
[ ] This has been pointed out to you before.
[ ] You believe O.J. Simpson is guilty
[ ] You have a direct genetic link to:
[ ] Sanford Wallace
[ ] Phil Lawlor
[ ] John Grubor
[ ] Walter Rines
[ ] Zach Everett
[ ] Steven Boursy
[ ] ___other___
[ ] You are one of the scuzzwipes from:
[ ] the Woodside Literary Agency
[ ] the Copy Cat Shop
[ ] You didn't do anything specific, but appear to be so generally
worthless that you are being flamed on general principles.
[ ] You used 8-bit characters and forgot the appropriate MIME-Headers
It is recommended that you:
[ ] Get a clue
[ ] Get a life
[ ] Go away
[ ] Grow up
[ ] Act something close to your age
[ ] Never post again
[ ] Smoke less of what you are smoking
[ ] Consider how low the tolerance on the Internet is for Spam
[ ] Become Sanford Wallace's love slave
[ ] Read every newsgroup you posted to for a week
[ ] stop reading Usenet news and get a life
[ ] stop sending Email and get a life
[ ] Bust up your modem with a hammer and eat it
[ ] Have your medication adjusted
[ ] Go to the top of a building and attempt to defy gravity
[ ] Jump into a bathtub while holding your monitor
[ ] find a volcano and throw yourself in
[ ] get a gun and shoot yourself
[ ] poke your eye out with a stick
[ ] Actually post something relevant
[ ] Read the FAQ
[ ] stick to FidoNet and come back when you've grown up
[ ] Apologize to everybody in this newsgroup
[ ] Do not attempt to apologize to everybody in this newsgroup
[ ] Attempt to win this year's Darwin Award
[ ] Do not pass along yout genes
[ ] consume excrement
[ ] consume excrement and thus expire
[ ] Perform solitary sexual congress
[ ] Post your tests to alt.test/misc.test
[ ] Put your home phone number in your ads from now on
[ ] Don't bother getting a new account when this one is pulled
[ ] Refrain from posting until you have a vague idea what you're doing
[ ] Read all RFCs and memorize them
In Closing, I'd Like to Say:
[ ] You need to seek psychiatric help
[ ] Take your gibberish somewhere else
[ ] *plonk*
[ ] Learn how to post or get off the usenet
[ ] Learn the purpose of email
[ ] Take a basic economics course and learn the costs of UCE
[ ] Go back to school and actually learn something
[ ] Your mother wears army boots
[ ] You are possibly the most annoying person currently alive
[ ] _____other______
[ ] Most of the above
[ ] All of the above
[ ] Some of the above, not including All of the above
[ ] You are so clueless that I didn't even bother filling in this form.
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