When women say ... |
... they mean |
"Yes" |
No |
"No" |
Yes |
"Maybe" |
No |
"I'm sorry" |
You'll be sorry |
"We need" |
I want |
"It's your decision" |
The correct decision should be obvious by now |
"Do what you want" |
You'll pay for this later |
"Sure go ahead" |
I don't want you to |
"I'm not upset" |
Of course I'm upset, you moron! |
"You're so manly" |
You need a shave and you sweat a lot |
"You're certainly attentive tonight" |
Is sex all you ever think about? |
"Be romantic, turn out the lights" |
I have flabby thighs |
"This kitchen is so inconvenient" |
I want a new house |
"I want new curtains" |
... and carpeting, and furniture, and wallpaper..... |
"Hang the picture there" |
NO, I mean hang it there! |
"I heard a noise" |
I noticed you were almost asleep |
"Do you love me?" |
I'm going to ask for something expensive |
"How much do you love me?" |
I did something today you're really not going to like |
"I'll be ready in a minute" |
Kick off your shoes and find a good game on TV |
"Is my butt fat?" |
Tell me I'm beautiful |
"You have to learn to communicate" |
Just agree with me |
"Are you listening to me!?" |
[Too late, you're dead.] |
"Was that the baby?" |
Why don't you get out of bed and walk him until he falls asleep |
"I'm not yelling!" |
Yes, I am yelling because I think this is important |
"The same old thing" |
Nothing |
"Nothing" |
Everything |
"Everything" |
My PMS is acting up |
"Nothing, really" |
It's just that you're such an asshole |